The pain that won't go away
by hitman-reborn-0318
Summary: I suck at summaries, so if you want to know what it's about I suggest you read the story.
1. Chapter 1

"Shut up, fatass," screamed the pissed off Jew.

" 'Ey, don't call me fat, you damn, dirty Jew," I yelled back, although I knew his anger was justified.

I'm Eric Cartman for those of you who don't know and that 'damn, dirty Jew' I'm yelling at is Kyle Broflovski, the love of my life. It may seem strange to say this sort of thing to the guy you're in love with, but it's completely fine when that person has no idea and you really don't want them to.

You see, it all started last year in 7th grade when I saw Kyle kissing Stan behind the school. In that instant I felt a blinding rage that took my breath away. At the time I didn't understand why I was so mad but it became clear just days later.

Stan and Kyle decided to come out about their relationship and, not surprisingly, everyone was o.k. with it. I was the only one who wasn't and I realized why, I was jealous of Stan. I tried to deny it for as long as I could but I couldn't run from the truth, as much as I wanted to. So I've been pining after him for a whole year until the two broke up a month ago. I thought I would be happy but I just feel even worse. It's all because when Stan and Kyle were together I could blame that on why I wouldn't tell Kyle about my feelings for him but now that they've split up and Kyle's free game again I know that I won't say anything because I'm afraid of what he'll say.

"Damn it, Cartman, just shut up and leave me the hell alone." Kyle said to me.

"Why don't you make me. Oh that's right, you don't have the balls, you wimp." I responded back, making him even angrier. I feel bad for saying all of these things to him but I have to act normal around him or else he'd find out that I love him.

It really hurts to know that if I did tell him he would probably laugh in my face and walk away. Maybe even tell everyone at school, which would just be rubbing salt in my wounds. Although I wouldn't put it past him considering how much he hates me.

I wonder if maybe, just maybe, I could convince him that I want to be friends, that way I wouldn't have to put up an act of hating him. It would never work though, because I've completely sabotaged any chance of friendship between through all the years of name-calling and abuse. This pain will never go away, I can already tell, but I'll just have to bear it until I find someone else who's better than Kyle is. Yeah right, like that'll ever happen.

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><p>Thanks for reading my first ever fic and I beg you please, please review. I'd love to hear what you think of it. If you see anything you don't like or that sounds wrong, tell me and I'll fix it. Plus, it might help me when writing other stories. Thanks a bunch.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

This story is going to be short, this is the last chapter, which is about the same length as the last one. Sorry but I don't really know what to add to make it longer.

Disclaimer: I forgot to add this the last chapter so here it is. I do not, in any way, own South Park. If I did it wouldn't be as good as it is.

On to the story. Enjoy!

My life is officially over. I'm on my way home right now to tell my mom we're moving. If you're wondering what happened, I've been found out. Apparently Kenny, my so-called friend, noticed the way I look at Kyle and figured out that I love him. He called me out during lunch yesterday and asked me about it.

"Flashback"

"Hey, Cartman, can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah, whatever." I said as I followed him out of the lunchroom. As soon as we got to his locker he started to talk again.

"So, is there anyone in this school you might like? You know, like, like?" He asked while giving me this really weird look that made me uncomfortable.

"No, why would there be, I hate everybody in this school."

He sighed and looked away for a minute, then looked back and said bluntly, "Look, I know you like Kyle, so why don't you just admit it."

I stared at him for a minute, wondering how the hell he figured it out, when he continued, "I think you should tell him. He deserves to know, whether you think so or not."

"Yeah right, he doesn't need to know. It's none of his business." I said back, getting nervous. I had a really bad feeling that the next thing he said would be a very, very bad thing.

"Well if you don't tell him by the end of school tomorrow, I'll tell him." He said smugly, as if he thought of a foolproof plan.

"God damn it, Kenny if you tell him I'll throw you in a wood chipper!" I yelled at him, getting the attention of the others in the hall.

He laughed for a minute and said, "So what, I'll just come back the next day."

That was when the bell rang for the end of lunch and he walked off to class, yelling over his shoulder, "Don't forget!"

"End Flashback"

So now I have to go home, pack my bags, and leave this town for good, all the while avoiding Kyle.

The next week was a blur for me. I didn't go to school, where I was sure Kyle would ridicule me along with the rest of the student body, and me and my mom spent all day, everyday packing. It surprised me that she agreed to move but I really shouldn't have been, considering she does what ever I want her to, no questions asked.

We don't know where were going to move to. Just as long as we move out the state it doesn't matter to me.

I haven't seen any of my friends since I last went to school but I'm thinking I need to go find Kenny and kill him. Although I need to think of a more gruesome way to do it since the wood chipper doesn't seem to fit anyone.

I decide to call Kenny and have him come over so that I can beat the shit out of him. On the way to the phone I hear a knock at the door.

"Mom, someone's at the door." I yell to my mom.

"Oh, Poopikins, can you get that I'm a little busy." She asks me.

I sigh and go to open the door. You know who I saw standing there, my worst nightmare, Kyle. I go to slam the door in his face when he stops me.

"Can I come in, Cartman?" he asks while glaring at me.

I move out of the way and he walks past. As soon as he's in he turns around, about to ask me something but I beat him to it.

"Look, before you say anything, I want to say that Kenny is a complete and total liar. So just ignore whatever he tells you."

He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. I look away from him, starting to feel uncomfortable and nervous.

"You're an ass you know that." He says to me. "How could you just make a decision to move without even telling anyone. You didn't even tell us why you're leaving."

"It's really none of your business why I'm moving and if that's all you wanted to talk about then get the hell out of here, you stupid Jew." I say to him, hoping that Kenny was bluffing and he really didn't tell Kyle that I love him.

He stares for a minute before walking up to me. I step back, thinking he's going to hit me, but he just smiles and keeps walking forward. When he makes it to me he stands there and then suddenly kisses me. I freeze in shock, caught completely by surprise, before kissing him back.

It's the best thing I have ever experienced in my entire life. He tastes amazing, I can't even describe it. I put my arms around his waist and he puts his around my neck. When we brake apart, he looks at me and says something that makes my heart beat faster and stop completely at the same time. "I love you too, Cartman."

I think it goes without saying that after that day I didn't move, why would I want to now. I love Kyle and not afraid to shout it to the world… wow I sound so whipped.

Thanks for reading and tell me what you thought. Again, sorry it's so short, if you have any ideas on how to make it better just tell me.


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